Derek and Melissa’s Family

At Busch Gardens Williamsburg

by Derek—2005.09.02 @ 2148

We just got back from a fun trip down to Williamsburg, Virginia, to the Busch Gardens theme park (e.g., Anheuser-Busch, you know, "beer"). It was a great adventure, and thanks to their "Here's to the Heros" campaign, we were able to get our entire family into the park for free (minus the $8 parking fee and the $45 fuel fill-up). Considering that individual tickets are $49.95 each (for ages 6+), we saved $149.85+tax. Not bad for a 12-hour adventure.

(You can tour along with me by referring to the Beer-, I mean, Busch Gardens map).

And, check out our photos of the adventure.

England to Scotland

The theme parks starts off in "England," where castle walls and a large replica of the Old Globe Theatre greet you with grandeur. Littered everywhere, oddly enough, were skeletons, pumpkins, cobwebs, and other Halloween-era decorations. The park was transforming for upcoming Halloween festivities, obviously, but the scene was potentially scary for our kids. I did my best to soften the images and called all the creepy skeletons "silly bones" which Elise and Isaac picked up on quickly.

Isaac lasted about four minutes walking on his own before Dad had to carry him through the rest of the park. Our destination was the "dragon land" kid area in "Germany," but the bridge from "Scotland" to "Germany" was closed and you were forced to walk through the rest of the park just to get there. Our first real stop was just outside "Scotland" where the large beer horses were kept (clydesdales?) According to my nifty Dashboard widget, the origin of "clydedale" comes "from the name of the area around the river Clyde in Scotland, where [the horses] were originally bred." Cool.

Next to the kennel was a kiddie ride featuring racing horses. Isaac lasted less than 30 seconds. The ride was stopped just long enough to extract Isaac. This was gearing up to be a long day. Now through "Scotland" and into "Ireland," we noticed the park train. I just knew that Isaac would love this: a ride on a real steam locomotive. We decided to save this ride for last.

Ireland's Dancers

In "Ireland" we stopped into the Abbey Stone Theatre where Busch-style Irish dancers would entertain. We arrived 20-minutes before the start of the first show at 1:00 p.m. and we got excellent seats. The stage looked absolutely stunning and I started to think about non-profit theatre management and how this particular theatre would be run.

Before the show started, an actor came from stage right and welcomed the crowd. He welcomed the service members who where in the audience and then left. We expected the show to start as the curtain (which resembled a stone wall) lifted, revealing a darkened stage behind. I was surprised to see a video playing which looked an awful lot like an advertisment. I leaned over to Melissa and expressed my displeasure. I expected to see a beer commercial before the actors came back on stage. I wasn't too far off. The ad was actually a feel-good commecial "celebrating" the return of soldiers from the field, ending with the Anheuser-Busch logo.

The ad wasn't terrible, but I couldn't help notice that all the soldiers depiected were tall, well-groomed, and attractive. Hmm, I thought to myself. After this commercial played, a video of the current president of Anheuser-Busch appeared (Mr. Busch, Jr.), who expressed his thanks to our men and women in arms who are protecting our country. While I appreciated the effort, the performance seemed canned and unfeeling. It read more like a marketing ploy: I've seen and heard so many of them now that I'm a little numb.

Not much more than a few hours into our adventure and I was feeling like I had stepped into a never-ending Superbowl advertisement. The sign outside Busch Gardens should have contained a warning:

Warning: You are entering 360 acres of lush Virginia countryside adjacent to the James River devoted to marketing Anheuser-Busch products. In other words, "drink our beer and buy our hotdogs."

The dancing Irish finially appeared. They were good, but again, Isaac's interest waned. For a 30-minute show, I too wondered what the point was. There was none, I guess, except to see a few Irish dances broken up by a chorus singing some famous Irish songs. They were good, but I guess it is different than real live theatre. The actors seemed a little tired, like they've been doing this for months and the spark had died out. There was no real plot, storyline, or... well, it was 30 minutes, and Isaac was bored, so we left after the final curtain call.

I have to add that the music was way too loud. Seriously! But I think this is the bane of amusement parks. I seem to remember going to "Captain EO" at Disneyland years ago and having to hold my ears for fear of a concussion. Maybe by playing the music loud enough you won't be able to concentrate on anything else...

The Grounds

Walking around the park, I couldn't help but notice the trees, bushes, and overall landscaping. It was amazing. Busch Gardens wins the prize: immaculately maintained grounds, perfect rows of flowers, trees trimmed, sidewalks glistening, even the water is a perfect shade of green (it is man-made, after all). Disney would be jealous. You can tell they take pride in how well the park looks, they even boast about the ground cover:

The landscaping crews at Busch Gardens Williamsburg will use more than 6,000 cubic yards of mulch throughout the 2005 season. That amount of mulch could cover 36 football fields if spread flat!

I also found out that Busch Gardens has been named "Most Beautiful Theme Park" for fifteen consecutive years by the National Amusement Park Historical Association. Very well maintained. Very much deserved.

France and New France

Out of "Ireland," we dashed through "France," stopping long enough to buy and share a strange waffle cone banana split. I guess that pushes our overall cost up an additional $4.00 for the treat. It was good, but didn't last nearly long enough for anyone to feel satisfied. But, we were mission-driven and were determined to make it to "Germany" before the day was gone.

"New France" turned out to be nothing more than "Canada" during the beaver-trapping and tree-logging era. In "Canada" they have a barrel ride that plunges the riders down a water-filled gully. I took Elise while Isaac (he was too short) and Melissa looked on. Elise and I had fun. Even waiting in line was entertaining as Elise danced to the chipper music playing overhead.

Elise was so brave; such a trooper. We made it up and down the ride and only got a little wet. It was fun.

Germany

Finally, now in "Germany." Here we let the kids ride the several kid rides available, at least twice (Isaac seemed to start enjoying things about this same time). There was even a little water park where kids could splash around in, and a huge fake tree/jungle gym. It was amazing. Once we tired ourselves out, we walked to the "Das Festhaus" for a few minutes. It was really just a big hall with many large wooden tables lined up end-to-end, ready for a huge drinking party.

I think it was in "Germany" that Melissa and I made the connection between the themed countries and Busch: beer. Maybe it was an obvious connection, or maybe we are making too much out of it, but one thing is clear: all of the countries picked have a long history of imbibing. I had to chuckle. Germany, Ireland, -- Canada? Yes, it was funny.

Italy and Home

Out of "Germany" we crossed a bridge into "Italy" where there were more kids rides. I also took Elise and Isaac on one of those large swinging "boat" rides (I think Lagoon has it themed like a pirate ship?) that swings from one side to another until you're almost at a right angle to the ground. Elise and Isaac hated it, and I regret taking them on it. Elise said, "that was a scary ride. When I'm bigger, I'll go on it again, later." It was a little much, but they made it.

Just around the corner was another "water" ride. This time, Melissa wanted to go, and she took Elise (she's just tall enough to go on these rides). It was called "Escape from Pompeii" and is about a 60-second ride that pulls you up into a darkened corridor, blasts fire at you, feigns a falling building, and drops you into a pool of water below with a tremendous splash.

Elise said she was scared and had to close her eyes, but she wanted to go again. I took her the second time. It was very intense inside the darkened part of the ride, and I felt that it was too much for Elise. I could tell that she was startled, even going through a second time. She held her eyes shut at the end, all the way through the splashing water.

Out of "Italy," we found the train station and climbed aboard. It was getting late and we knew this would be the last ride. The train took us on a 20-minute "tour" of the park and we saw more and more Halloween decorations all over the park. The ride came equipped with non-stop advertisements for Anheuser-Busch: beer, soda, ice-cream, etc. Every time we passed something, the loud speaker would echo what items were for sale at that place. It got to be annoying.

We left the park a little tired, and a little wary of theme parks.

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